Sibling Rivalry
by animalnitrate
Summary: for the Bakuretsu Hunters fan who happens to dig Oasis...


Disclaimer: Please, don't sue me. I don't own Bakuretsu Hunters nor Wibbling Rivalry, all credits go to their respective owners. I repeat, don't sue!  
  
  
  
A.N.: This fic is patterned after (ripped-off) "Wibbling Rivalry", a transcript of argument between Liam and Noel Gallagher of the band Oasis. If you're not familiar with the Gallagher brothers… well, they've got a reputation for delinquency and they tend to say or do things that will put the Sex Pistols to shame (just kidding!), no wonder the public either really really hates them or loves them. Please do read "Wibbling Rivalry" and its hilarious spin-offs so this fic will make much more sense, I think you can find it in this address, http://www.geocities.com/SunseStrip/Towers/9847/wrspinoffs.html , but even if you're not familiar with "Wibbling Rivalry", and you'd read anything that is Bakuretsu Hunters, then I think that you'll find this fic fascinating to read nonetheless.  
  
  
  
  
  
SIBLING RIVALRY  
  
(Pervert Rivalry)  
  
  
  
Scenario: It's around midnight at the Stellar Church and things starts to get rowdy when Big Momma confronts Carrot about his roaring libido.  
  
  
  
Big Momma: How do you feel about the fact that, already, you have attracted a reputation for being a lecherous sex-crazed maniac?  
  
Carrot: I'm into it, me. But at that end of the day, I go back here and get a clip off me Tira. And I do. She clips me round the head and goes, "What are you like, you little tinker?"  
  
Big Momma: Did you get a clip after hitting on that waitress at the pub?  
  
Carrot: Oh yeah, I get it all the time. She looks at me and goes, "You fuckin' daft bastard". Know what I mean?  
  
Marron: It's a reputation, right, that I…  
  
Carrot: I like the way it's bubbling up. It's reminding me of Happosai all over again. I like that, me. I want to get 2000 lovely ladies in a nice gaff who are there to have a chat with me. I want to be there…  
  
Marron: Woah. Hang on a minute. That's not what he's on about.  
  
Carrot: He is.  
  
Marron: He's on about a reputation, about tryin' to shag hot chicks. Tryin' to shag hot chicks and getting beat up for that is summat that I'm not proud about.  
  
Carrot: Well I am, la.  
  
Marron: Alright. Well if you're proud about tryin' to score with every hot chick you bump into, why don't you go and hang around with Happosai and Master Roshi and get the fuck out of the team and go and be a fuckin' pervert? We're Sorcerer Hunters' right? Not fuckin' perverts.  
  
Carrot: You're only gutted 'cos you was in bed fuckin' casting your fuckin' spells…  
  
Marron: Not at all. Here's a quote for you from your darling, Chocolate Misu…  
  
Carrot: She's a fuckin'… 'nother fuckin'…  
  
Marron: Shut up, you dick. He always runs off tryin' to shag those gals. I'm left in with my tongue out like a fuckin' spare cunt at a fuckin' wedding…  
  
Carrot: It was a bad move…  
  
Marron: Shut up! Shut Up! He hit on those girls and Chocolate says, "What the fuck are you doing?". This lot think he's the "Love Machine" and it's cool to get slapped by an angry chick…  
  
Carrot: No I don't.  
  
Marron: Shut up. This lot thinks it cool to get his face smashed…  
  
Carrot: I don't.  
  
Marron: Shut up, man! This lot thinks it's cool to get beaten up by girls. Do you know what Tira said to him? She said, "Nah, being cool is doing your gig, hunting sorcerers, coming back and saying you teach those twats a lesson." Not getting beat up by a bunch of girls 'cos of fondling like some fuckin' horny bastard. That's just fuckin' perversion, and I won't stand for it. And listen, he got bruises and broken bones all over his body.  
  
Carrot: I didn't at all. You can stick your bruises and broken bones right up yer arse 'till it comes out of your fuckin' big toe.  
  
(When Marron retires to the toilet, Carrot is asked by Big Momma about he's willingness to be seen as a "pervert.")  
  
Carrot: I'm not up for being seen as a pervert, I'm just up for being seen as me. And what happened with the girls, right, is we had a little chat, right, 'cos I love chatting. I love it. I'm into it.  
  
Marron: (From the bathroom) You can't chat, you dickhead!  
  
Carrot: Who can't chat? Well fuckin' where the fuck did it go? It went right in there, and I dealt with it.  
  
Marron: (Still in the bathroom) Eeyare! Wooah!  
  
Carrot: Shut up! Shut up! I'm not saying I'm proud of what happened, but… that's what happened. That's what occurred that day. And it's like what Happosai said. He said, "I'm sick of all these fuckin' kids who doesn't peep at girls locker rooms or try to cop a feel and get into situations no more." The last lad who did it was Ataru Maboshi. He'd go out and something would happen. And that's the way it is, that's the way I am. I always go out and meet some…  
  
Marron: That's bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit!  
  
Carrot: Shut the fuck up. What you've been ranting on about is bullshit to me.  
  
Marron: If you think being cool is about being a pervert…  
  
Carrot: Being cool is about being yourself. And I went into that fuckin' pub, I had a little chat with the gals, I chased them and got beat up and that was it.  
  
Marron: Being cool is behaving properly. Behaving. Behaving. Behaving. It's not about you, it's not about gals, it's not about chicks. It's all about proper behavior.  
  
Carrot: Who the fuck is Ataru, then?  
  
Marron: Who's talking about Urusei Yatsura?  
  
Carrot: He's the best fuckin' anime character that ever came out. Or one of 'em.  
  
Marron: He's not. He's a fuckin' pervert.  
  
Big Momma: Would Happosai or Master Roshi have done anything without getting slapped by girls.  
  
Carrot: Would they fuck! That's why they were so cool!  
  
Marron: (Super-indignant) What? 'Cos they got slapped! Because Roshi got slapped he's so cool? Fuck off! Bullshit! Bullshit!  
  
Carrot: But they had summat else there…  
  
Marron: They had what? An edge? Is that what you're saying?  
  
Carrot: A style, you dickhead.  
  
Marron: I got style! I got style!  
  
Carrot: You haven't if start going on like that. (Begins to mince up and down the room). Do you want to walk around like that? Like that?  
  
Marron: Not at all.  
  
Carrot: (Still mincing) And hunt sorcerers and go like that…  
  
Marron: Not at all. You think it's cool to be the "Love Machine" and chase off girls, and that's not.  
  
Carrot: I don't think it's cool.  
  
Marron: That was your quote, you prick! I'm the Love Machine! I'm the Love Machine!  
  
Carrot: I was laughing about it. And as far as I'm concerned, I'm into it. I got away from the girls beating me up, I got away from that shit, I laugh about it and I think, Yeah, fuckin' good, man. It happened. That was reality, mate.  
  
Marron: We're not a bunch of perverts. Are we? The team is about hunting bad sorcerers. It's not about chasing off girls. (Exasperatedly) Why don't you go out and hit on girls and say you're one of the Sorcerer Hunters?  
  
Carrot: Really?!... But I don't want to. If I did, there's nothing would stop me. Not even the Misu's.  
  
Marron: Then why don't you go and make a scene, then? Why don't you do a Master Roshi? Lift girl's skirts up!  
  
Carrot: I don't want to do that. If I wanted to do it, I'd just go like that and do it and do it. But I don't want to do that. I'm not about that.  
  
Marron: What are you about?  
  
Carrot: I'm about being… I'm about going down the fuckin'… I'm about… (pulls out his dick from his pants) That's what I'm about.  
  
Marron: That's what you're about? I'm talking about our team here.  
  
Carrot: That's what I'm talking about.  
  
Marron: No you're not. You're talking about you. Our team is all about respect. He's just said, 70 per cent of what the people are saying about us is with respect, right? I'll take the 70 per cent. The 30 per cent, you can go and fuckin' blow it.  
  
Carrot: Sit down, man. Sit down. You're getting into a state. You've cast too many spells. Sit the fuck down.  
  
Marron: The thing is, you're not the leader of the team.  
  
Carrot: Are you?  
  
Marron: Yeah. I am.  
  
Carrot: You might be in your own little world, but as far as I'm concerned, if you think what I'm saying is bullshit, I think what you're saying is fuckin' bullshit, man.  
  
Marron: Fine. You don't lead the team.  
  
Carrot: You don't lead the team.  
  
Marron: I do lead the team.  
  
Carrot: I lead the team. I'm leading the team right now. And I'm into it. I'm into all that fuckin' shit. (Referring to Marron) He's gay. He's a fuckin' fag. He's born to be a fag.  
  
Marron: No, the difference is, I ain't no pervert.  
  
Carrot: So what are you're trying to say, right, what you're trying to say, you're trying to say, right, that I'm out in a mall, yeah, I flirt a little, a situation arises, and I'm supposed to go like that (makes suitably effeminate gesture)?  
  
Marron: What mall? Where ?  
  
Carrot: Anywhere! The pub is the same thing.  
  
Marron: It isn't! 'Cos you're with the Sorcerer Hunters! You're with the team!  
  
Carrot: Nah, nah, nah. There's no rules. Show me the rule book. 'Cos if you got a rule book, what you're saying is complete and utter fuckin' (turns over to Marron's ear, and shouts) Bloooarskybluh!  
  
Marron: You walk in to girl's dressing rooms and you get everybody at it and you go "Pssst" hitting on the girls…  
  
Carrot: I'm just having fun. It's not doing anyone any harm. That's me. Kintaro Oe used to fuckin' burn about doing little mad things…  
  
Marron: Do you know Kintaro Oe?  
  
Carrot: Do you know him?  
  
Marron: I don't, but do you?  
  
Carrot: Yeah.  
  
Marron: Grow up, man! You're pretty immature. How old are you? 17?  
  
Carrot: No. About fuckin' thousand and five fuckin' one (sic).  
  
Marron: You're 18.  
  
Carrot: I'm 17.  
  
Marron: Right. And remember, I watched way more anime shows and read way more mangas than you do, and I don't even know Kintaro Oe. So shut the fuck up about knowing Kintaro Oe.  
  
Carrot: Well what are you trying to say then? You want us to be well behaved and walk around and go like that (more mincing)?  
  
Marron: Respect! Respect! Respect! Respect! Respect! Respect! It's all about respect!  
  
Carrot: You want to be Milphey Yu. Admit it.  
  
Marron: Let's talk about respect. Let's not talk about you being a pervert. Let's talk about respect. Let's talk about respect!  
  
Carrot: You're getting hung up about a situation that occurred on a pub!  
  
Big Momma: Let's go back to where we were, people saying "That Carrot sure is a big fuckin' pervert…" You're up for that?  
  
Marron: People are sat in Spooner, right now, in places across this continent, whether it be on a town, a city, a farm, on a mountain, forest, dessert, at sea… in rooms like this. And they've all got brothers. This is part of life.  
  
Carrot: Exactly. So shut the fuck up, man! you're just contradicting yourself, you've cast too many spells. I don't want to go on about how I'm being a pervert. I'm in this team to hunt sorcerers, but that'll come along with it. It always does.  
  
Big Momma: Vash and Knives didn't get along as well.  
  
Carrot: Yeah, well I hate this bastard.  
  
Big Momma: Is that what fires this team up?  
  
Carrot: Yeah. That's what's it's all about. That's why well be able to vanquish all the evil sorcerers out there, because I fuckin' hate that twat there. I fuckin' hate him. And I hope one day there's a release where I can smash the fuck out of him, with a fuckin' mallet, right on he's head, and then he does the same to me, 'cos I think were stepping right up to it now. There's a fuckin' line there and we're right on the edge of it.  
  
Big Momma: How often do you argue like this?  
  
Carrot: Every day.  
  
Marron: Hourly.  
  
Big Momma: And how do you manage to fight off sorcerers with each other?  
  
Carrot: I fight sorcerers, right, and that's what I'm into, what I'm about. I'm not going to fuck off because he thinks my hormones are too outrageous or whatever. I've got my vibe, and I go to fight sorcerers, and I do my business. He stands in he's fuckin' corner, he does he's little magic and he's little spells- let him do that. Gateau does his bit, I'll do my bit, the Misu's does their bit. That's what's it's all about. Five people, not one.  
  
Big Momma: Do you have any recurring dreams?  
  
Marron: Yeah. Just the one.  
  
Carrot: (Menacingly) I shagged all the hot chicks.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Well, how was it? I think I'll write another one for the Misu's.  
  
Whoever you are? Thank you for reading. (r/r please) 


End file.
